Make Friends with Change.

Do you ever sit and wonder if everything happens for a reason? I have. And I think I truly believe that too. I’m 23 years old. And the first 18 years of my life weren’t a walk in the park but I believe it’s best not to dwell on the negative or the past, and simply not let it define you. So more than I ever, I believe something is put in your path for a reason – no matter how positive, negative, upsetting or overwhelming. We are all human.

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Recently, as it seems most years around this time, a bit of bad luck came our way. I knew it was coming. Well I didn’t. But for a few weeks, and if you have me on twitter you’ll have read, I just had this feeling that a black cloud was looming, ready to open and pour down on us. And it did. I’m a stay at home mum to a 22 month old, pregnant with baby #2 – and I am extremely lucky to be in this position and with my partner working to allow this. Here’s this thing, my partner ended up leaving his job. Just before Christmas, just before we were meant to purchase a family car, just after things seemed to be going dare I say it…well. It was a big, messy affair and he was glad to be out. I was happy the weight had been lifted from his shoulders, I could see on his face the relief he felt to be out of a toxic place but at the same time I was riddled with worry. What did this mean for our family? I couldn’t get a job being pregnant, childcare is expensive – no one would employ me (yes I know this isn’t allowed but come on who would?). Luckily we had enough funds to last us until January – but the time bomb was ticking away with every second.

It gave me a kick up the backside. I made a change after being in deep thought for a day or two. I enrolled on a course, distance learning, to finish my training to become a Early Years/Reception Teacher. I now do 3 mornings a week volunteering in a setting across the road from me, with the flexibility to complete the course within two years and change my days to suit around my family. And it’s all funded until I earn over a certain amount which is even better. I am carving myself a future slowly, thinking post-baby/toddlers, keeping myself busy and motivated to take the plunge and transition from SAHM to Working Mum after baby #2 is born.

Again, I believe everything happens for a reason. My partner landed another job after about 10 days of being out of his previous job. One he doesn’t dread, feels more positive about and another bonus of more hours and better pay. It also gave him a fire to get himself into a career he is passionate about and loves – something for him to work towards in the future.

So here I am. Still my brain feels like a muddled, messy baby brain and I still need to settle into the new routine until I can feel I can put my umbrella down from stormy November but it’s a start. It just once again proves, life gives you a challenges at every corner, don’t let it overcome or defeat you. Focus on moving forward and being productive – life truly is what you make of it. So my posts will only be twice a week as of now, I need to prioritise and let myself fall into a routine without adding pressure to myself – so do bear with me and thank you for your continued support. And for anyone going through a rough patch, things will get better, the fog will clear and you’ll see your rainbow soon.

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5 quotes to embrace happiness.

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Sunday is often a day we reflect, make plans for the following week and mull over the week we have just had. I’ve seen some small improvements and successes in my blog (well I like to think) and this makes me proud, positive and happy. So on that note why not keep it nice and light – rounding off the week with some quotes that make us feel all happy and mushy inside. Here’s five of my best:

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Each quote can relate and mean something different to every person, so I’m not going to say what they mean to me as this s purely a reflection post. Instead I’ll leave you with this, remember that there is only one of you in this world and you are brilliant. Learn to love yourself, overly love those important to you, remember making mistakes is human, learn from you every day. You’re your own best teacher. Embrace you. Be happy!

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What makes you happy? Do you have a favourite happiness quote? Anything this week that has lifted your spirits?

How to deal with negative energy.

I have a problem. Like many people, I have allowed negative energy into my life. Let them it irritate and cloud my usually rainless mind. Why? Who knows why any of us let this induce us into sitting pondering in a world of our own. Stewing and mulling over circumstances. You know the kind. The embezzler of good energy. The bodies who repeatedly seem to be in a squabble with someone, or forever updating social media with passive aggressive updates, and most frustratingly think their opinions are the only appropriate, correct ones. Ever.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not always, nor have I always been, a ball of light but in my life now, I consciously try to put kindness out to the world. I don’t talk bad about people. I never say anything to a person that I wouldn’t feel comfortable saying in front of them. I strongly believe in karma – though I am waiting for some to reinforce my beliefs. I believe I’m a honest and fair person.  I believe in apologising for your wrongs. I believe in learning from mistakes. I believe in making mistakes. I’m human.

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Now the spirit stealers I am referring to do none of these things. Instead they mostly make you feel upset, troubled, confused. The people who you struggle to recall when you last had a carefree conversation was with. The people who think and whats worse, make you feel as if, they are above you,  talk down to you. The ones who emotionally drain us to a point you welcome the day you awake with the stress of them gone from your shoulders, which is extremely sad.

Now as we know blogging is an ideal way to express and compose your thoughts/feelings in a healthy way -to a world of neutral and sincere readers but after an extremely draining morning (concluding in me breaking loose from the negativity within my life, at least until a corner has been turned and their own issues have been addressed) I felt it was time for me to channel my feelings of frustration into words of motivation. Here’s my top tips to keep positive when surrounded by negative and when dealing with negativity:

  • No matter what, believe in yourself. It’s hard to not become riddled with self-doubt when unpleasantness is being directed to you. BUT be strong. Have strength. You can overcome this.
  • Reflect and articulate yourself before you respond. There is nothing worse than reacting in the heat of the moment, take a moment to ponder on what is happening. React in a healthy way that reflects who you are. Not in a way you will later wish you didn’t. Make sure you are clear, calm and concise in expressing your thoughts and feelings. There is no point in addressing invalid points and working yourself up.
  • Surround yourself with beautiful, strong, honest people. For me I am extremely lucky to have hub-to-be. Someone I can freely communicate with and unload when I need too. What’s more he is not afraid to tell me if I am wrong, if he doesn’t agree with the way something is handled but is still someone who will support and uplift you 100%. This truthfulness I admire massively. I believe that if you surround yourself with kind people, they influence you. Likewise with negative.
  • Always be aware and pick your battles. When dealing something like this, it’s important to understand that you can’t battle every time. It will drain you, mentally exhaust you and leave you feeling worse of than you started. It’s important to be able to identify what you need to let go of, for your own sanity, and when you feel it’s time to address something and stand up to the problem.
  • Support yourself. I truly believe that for one negative energy in life, you need to give out a million more positive vibes. Wash out that negativity in a productive way. Channel your frustration into motivation. Use the emotions to better yourself. Whether that’s in your job, your friendships, hobbies, social media etc. Point those feelings into the universe as positive ones. Karma will come back to you.

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Remember, look after yourself. And those most important to you. Uplift others. Be kind daily. Treat others how you want to be treated. Block out the negative vibes. And most importantly, admit when you are wrong/when you have done wrong and that you are human. You gain a lot more respect in doing so,  as oppose to claiming you are in the right and trying to put others down in doing so. Do not let negative people turn you into one.

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